Parenting

I've been thinking about parenting a LOT lately.

Ever since Nolan started walking at 11 months, I swear he turned into a toddler.

I know being the parent of a baby has its challenges, but I feel like more is required of me now, as a parent.

These are the kinds of feelings I've had lately:

1) Not ever really knowing what to do.
        I hope I'm not the only one who feels like this. There are times, like tonight, when Nolan does something, and I don't know what to do. For example, tonight, I put chicken and broccoli in front of him. He shook his head no and then proceeded to play with the drawer next to him for the next 20 minutes. You might think, oh he's probably just not hungry. Nope--he kept crying and wanting to pull down the graham cracker box. *Never should have introduced him to graham crackers* #parentingfail.
       I want to be an authoritarian parent. I don't want to be the parent who says "my way or the highway". I don't want to be the parent that says, "Sure, do whatever you want, as long as you're not crying." I know that I want to be somewhere in the middle. But how to do that escapes me. I've been reading a billion parenting books just to give me ideas to draw from. They have helped a bit.
2) I don't think I've ever prayed so much and so fervently.  I know the Spirit can bring ideas to my mind. For example, today. Nolan was being whiny. It was about 4 pm, bedtime routine starts at 6:30. I brought over some books to him, he shook his head no. I brought over toys, he shook his head no. I brought over his blanket and lovey, and he grabbed them and shoved them in his face and shrieked with happiness. So I put him in his crib with his blanket and lovey and left. After about 10 minutes, I got him out and he was like a brand new baby, very happy and smiley and played independently. It never occurred to me that he might need some quiet time to recharge. Thanks to the Spirit, I was able to be more in tune to what Nolan needed in that moment.
2) Feeling like others judge me. All the time.
Ever heard things like this?
"Oh--you formula feed? Oh...."
"You're leaving his car seat rear-facing? Aren't you going to turn it forward-facing when he's one?"
I've heard all of those lately. I know I'm not the only one, because my sister just posted a blog post about the same thing. Since when were there parenting elitists and the rest of us are scum? With parenting comes a million and one opinions about EVERYTHING and I've learned you need to do your research on both sides then form your own opinion. THEN (the part I feel some people forget) respect other people to do the same.
I heard someone say once, "I only hang out with other moms who parent the same way I do." What? To an extent, I understand...but just because they don't do time out or spanking doesn't mean they are not good parents! I wish we could all be a little more understanding if a toddler is throwing a fit in the store and the mom buys him candy, or if a mom chooses to delay immunizations, etc.  It is every parent's right to choose those things! It would make parenting easier if all parents alike gave each other more support, and less judgment.

I love being a mom. I love when Nolan sees me and walks over to me from across the room into my arms and gives me hugs. I love when he laughs when I sing, "Eensy Weensy Spider". I love that he looks at me and touches my face. I love to see him discover and play. I love to see the joy on his face in the bath.

I just sometimes wish I wasn't so darn human. ;)